chapter 15

Making Sister Nun Moe Mad

That story about the raven (the bird, last time I swear) as a baby made me think of my own childhood. And how Sister Nun Moe always glared at me, like I was planning something bad. I remember we had a Halloween party when I was seven, and Sister Moe had us all watch a bunch of scary movies. I was surprised, because why would a nun let us watch something scary?

At first I thought the tapes might have been edited or something, but when I saw the title of the movies I understood. The tapes (this was before DVD’s) were "The Village of the Damned", "Chuckie’s Child Play," "The Ring", "Children of the Corn", and of course "The Omen." You see, if you don’t know already, all of these movies involved evil children or evil children’s toys. The whole time we were watching she would look at me whenever the kids in the movie did something evil. I tried not to look at her, but I could feel her eyes burning into my skull like she had heat vision or something.

"Why would she do this?" you ask.

Well I figure she had been trying to show the other kids what to look for in evil children. But it was lost on them and they just spent the whole time laughing about how stupid the movies were. That just made her madder.

"There is something different about that boy," I heard her remark one day.

"Somehow he brings dogs in and out of his room. The kids that have stayed near his room told me that they have seen a dog running around outside his window."

"So he likes dogs, that is not a crime", replied one of the other nuns.

"Don’t you understand?" Moe shouted. "There are no pets allowed in here."

"So prove he has one. Then we will talk," the other nun told her. Luckily you could always tell the other nuns didn’t believe a thing she said.

Whenever I came back from my last unsuccessful foster home, Sister Moe would give me chores. I tried my best to do them but she wouldn’t give me enough information on how to do them. I think she was hoping I would do them wrong so she would have an excuse to punish me. Sure enough I would mess up so bad she would get in trouble for making me do it in the first place. I never did it on purpose; I just seemed to be cursed. The first chore she gave me was when I was six was washing the dishes. I scrubbed for an hour, and then she came in with a basket of laundry and said to wash them too. (But she didn’t tell me that the clothes dryer was downstairs.) So I naturally thought the clothes were supposed to go in the dishwasher. How could I have known if you put clothes in a dishwasher the heat can catch them on fire?

After the firemen came, they told me it wasn’t my fault that the nuns should have known better than to leave a six year old alone with a major appliance. The firemen even gave me a firemen’s hat, not a real one, but a toy one to play with. All the other kids thought that was way cool. After all what kid doesn’t like firemen? But boy did that make Moe made. Later I noticed someone had stepped on the hat, repeatedly. I’m pretty sure she was responsible because it looked like whom ever stepped on it had very big feet!

The next big chore she gave me was when I was seven was surprisingly the clothes washer; but first she gave me a "lonnnngggg" lecture on the big difference in clothes washers and dishwashers and then told me to clean the clothes. I thought she was going to watch me, which she did at first but she got a phone call and left. I was relieved because I couldn’t concentrate with her breathing down my neck and shouting "No, no, no, not that way this way!" every two seconds.

I would have done fine if only I hadn’t mistaken the bottles of dye for laundry detergent. Let’s just say nuns look very different when dye next to laundry soap anyway? they have to wear tie-dyed robes. It’s quite a sight like they just came back from a Woodstock concert. Hey in my defense why would you put a six year old in charge? 

Why Nun Moe Hates Trooper

I never trusted Trooper the moment I saw him. I found it very surprising that he had been able to spend three days alone in the woods, unless ... unless he had been eating something like food or a parent, Cannibalism wasn’t that uncommon. Now I’m not saying a three-year-old killed and ate them but that would certainly explain why his parents couldn’t be found. Granted it was hard to image a three-year-old could possibly kill his mother, maybe father too, and even harder to think he would eat them. Then again Trooper was pretty big for a three-year-old; he could easily have been four or even five. He also seemed to have a huge appetite. I had heard from the son of a foster family that Trooper stayed with that he had eaten ladies’ underwear. That boy’s name was Lex, and I tried to get the boy to tell me more, but then all he wanted to do was talk about his ant farm and how he really tricked Trooper with it or something. Stupid kid.

I certainly considered he was capable of something that horrible. Part of being a loyal Christian is remembering that in faith anything is possible. I’d stayed up many nights thinking about it. I only told one other person my theory, the Reverend Mishap. He had listened quietly to me at first while I’d explained my theory then laughed at me when I was through.

After that I kept my theories to myself. After watching the "Omen" I realized it wasn’t that hard for a child to kill. Push a parent down the stairs, switch their medicine, or smother them in their sleep. It was terrible to think about these things, but it had to be done by someone to stay one step ahead of the wicked. I had to rent some God-awful horror movies so I could stay one step ahead of kids like Trooper. The things I put myself through to help others and follow the good Lord’s path.

Eventually I came up with the plan to expose Trooper. The world was full of sins that no one ever punished until they went to their final resting place. I was on a mission to help God see these sinners as they were and expose their wicked ways in the present world. I would be his eyes and ears right here on earth. Oh you had to look carefully as Satan was a master of hiding his evil among good works. Few knew the true evil of human nature.

That nice old man across the street could be a sex offender that likes young boys. That nice schoolteacher that gave all her students A’s might really be giving them all the wrong information so they’ll never function in the real world.

The others nuns didn’t understand. They wanted to focus on the good people that no one paid enough attention to such as the old man who worked all day but gave half his paycheck to charity. As if paying attention to the good in man was going to make the bad disappear. Fools!

Well that Trooper may have disappeared but he wasn’t gone. I could still feel his evil presence in the air. I had tried sticking Trooper in the strictest foster homes so that some sense would be put into him. Somehow that boy got away with things that he should have been punished for doing. I was on to him, I did not have a complete handle on what he was plotting, but I knew it was no good.

Others said he was just a quiet boy, but lots of serial killers are described as being quiet and keeping to themselves. They are just hiding out until the time is right. Thinking back I believe he messed up on his chores on purpose. I don’t care if he was only six, everyone should know that you don’t mix whites with colors when you do wash. He tries to act dumb, but he has a plan. Oh he is a sly one, but he has the devil working with him. Lord help me expose this sinner.

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